


What You Won't

by foolishle



Category: Twelfth Night - Shakespeare
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2013-12-14
Packaged: 2018-01-04 14:32:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foolishle/pseuds/foolishle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t know what he sees in you” Valentine smirked.</p>
<p>“Who? Orsino?” Viola cursed internally - she’d known the man for three days and yet with any old ‘he’ or ‘him’ he thoughts immediately flew to the Duke. With his face. And his beard. And his eyes. And his... everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What You Won't

**Author's Note:**

  * For [grangerbutstranger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/grangerbutstranger/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide, grangerbutstranger!

The second most disconcerting part of it all was how easy it was. She’d expected the male clothes to be awkward but for some reason the stiff fabric and simple lines were somehow soothing. Her cropped hair no longer tickled her neck or took hours to dry and style and where she’d always felt like an ungainly giant around her female friends - too tall and wide shouldered to be properly dainty - compared with her male colleagues in Orsino’s court she felt… compact and solid. But the best thing was the clothes - she’d always enjoyed looking at beautiful dresses and shoes but they never made her feel beautiful. Like she was dressing up as something she wasn’t.

Viola stretched comfortably by the fire - one couldn’t lounge like this in a dress, she considered - it had been a long day.

“How good are pockets?” she remarked to Valentine.

“Pockets? Uh...” Valentine prodded at the fire unenthusiastically.

“So good!” she mused.

“I don’t know what he sees in you” Valentine smirked.

“Who? Orsino?” Viola cursed internally - she’d known the man for three days and yet with any old ‘he’ or ‘him’ he thoughts immediately flew to the Duke. With his face. And his beard. And his eyes. And his... everything.

“Of course Orsino - you’ve only been here three days and he’s basically lost without you.” Valentine waggled his eyebrows suggestively

“Shut up! Here he comes,” Viola tried keep her voice level.

“Cesario! Where are you?”

“Here my lord!”

Valentine rolled his eyes and winked as he left.

“Cesario,” The Duke began.

Viola wondered what it would be like to hear her real name from his lips. To have her name in his mouth. His beautiful mouth. With his lips. And his tongue. And his teeth. And his... everything.

“You know how I feel about her. I’ve told you everything.”

If Orsino was Viola’s secret ‘Him’, Olivia was the Duke’s very un-secret ‘Her’. Probably for the best, Viola thought, his obsession with someone else was sometimes the only thing that kept her rational.

“Would you go and see her? For me? The last two times I asked her out she told me she doesn’t want see me again and now I’ve heard she doesn’t want to see anyone since her brother died but I just want her to know that I want to give her her... space, you know. But you can go. Go and tell her how I feel so she knows that I’m here for her.”

“Of course I’d do anything for you but she won’t see anyone, why would she see me?”

“You can do it, I’ve seen how stubborn you are. Go there and don’t leave until she hears you out.”

“And if she sees me, what should I say?”

“Tell her how I feel. You’re so adorable she won’t be able to tell you to go away! Tell her how deeply and passionately I love her and how much I need her in my life! I can’t live without her! Tell her how beautiful she is with her eyes and her face and her… everything. If you can do this” Orsino put his arm around Viola companionably and his crooked grin made Viola’s heart race against her will. “I will seriously love you forever” He winked.

 

\--

 

The first most disconcerting thing was how much like herself she looked. While her resemblance to her brother was remarkable  - and to see his face staring back at her from the mirror slightly closed the hole in her heart and her life that had been there since her brothers death in the shipwreck - her own face looked like hers in a way it never had with jewellery and makeup. She wondered what Olivia looked like. She supposed Olivia would look like herself all the time. Whether she’d just got up or whether she had makeup or jewels.

Viola stood awkwardly in the room - there were several women here and having never seen Olivia herself she wasn’t sure who she should address.

Orsino’s description of “The most beautiful woman you have ever seen” was... unhelpful.

“Which one of you is the lady of the house?”

“You can speak to me.” The woman who spoke was wearing all black. Mourning for her brother?

“Most radiant, exquisite and unmatchable beauty…” But suddenly she was unsure. It was hard enough to do this once she wasn’t sure she could do it again.  “Are you Olivia? It’s just I’ve never seen her before and I’ve memorised this thing…”

The lady laughed. “Oh my god, where did you come from?”

“Just let me know if you’re her?”

“Are you a comedian?”

“No! I’m being serious. Are you the lady of the house?” Viola sighed, she was sweating. She really didn’t want to fuck this up. She wanted to see this woman, to get it over with. She never wanted to come face-to-face with her afraid it would hurt too much.

“Unless I take over from myself... I am.”

“Okay. I will continue ...”

“Just get to the point - I don’t need the compliments.”

“But I… memorised it.”

“All the more reason to forget it - if you have a point then get to it.”

Viola sighed again “Okay just remember I’m just the messenger here…”

“And you don’t want to be shot I suppose? Sounds like it must be something bad”

“It’s just… private.” Viola blushed.

“Fine.” Olivia gestured and they were suddenly alone.

Olivia turned her full attention to Viola and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

She was pretty. Very pretty.

“You are beautiful.”

Olivia shrugged and wrinkled her nose “It’s a face. It does its job.”

“And yet you don’t let anyone see it.”

“Whatever - I’ll post a description. Olivia: Two eyes - greyish. Lips, sort of pink, an appropriate number of teeth. Hair: covers head but not face. That’s the sort of thing you were sent to say, I suppose?”

“My lord loves you, how can you make fun of him?”

“So he’s said. Again and again.”

“He talks about you all the time, every day. He gazes out the window in the direction of your house.”

“I’ve told him - I don’t love him. I cannot love him. He’s not a bad guy - rich, good looking. He’s not an asshole or anything. But I don’t love him - which he ought to be aware of by now - and I really wish he’d just give it up.”

“If I loved you like he loves you I wouldn’t understand that.”

“Why not? They are MY feelings. I don’t need to explain them to him OR to you. Geez. If he actually loved me wouldn’t he care about what I want? That’s not love it’s some sort of creepy obsession. For goodness sake - I said NO. I said I didn’t want to see him. So he sends someone else? What, does he think he’s now technically not going against what I asked of him? What the actual fuck? How does he expect me to react to that? Oh well now you’ve crossed my boundaries let’s make out? Well FUCK THAT.”


End file.
